Open Back
Open Back

Open or Semi-Open Adoption Matching Process
When you opt for private infant adoption, your process may be a little different than if you were going through international placement or placement from foster care, but the emotional roll-a-coaster effect is still present. In foster care placement as well as international placement, after you have qualified, had your home study, processed all of the paperwork, then usually a child will be 'referred' to you for placement. Naturally, you have the right to refuse a referral, but the average person doesn't. In private infant adoption, the birth mother and/or birth father choose the adoptive family.
Today, almost all birth mothers want a semi-open or open adoption rather than a closed adoption with the adoptive family. Because of today's recommended best practices, almost all agencies allow the birth mother to choose the family she wants as parents for her baby. Studies by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute in Washington D.C. have shown that the more open the adoption, the better it is for the adoptee, the birth family and the adoptive parents as well. That is a hard concept to get your mind around when you are rebounding from years of failed infertility treatments and you have watched too many 'adoption stories' on the Lifetime Channel. But it is true.
Most adoptions are completed without any problems and the adoptive family and birth family forge a real bond and a lifelong relationship. However, you don't know how your process will proceed when you begin this challenging and emotional experience. I recommend that you opt for a semi-open adoption to begin with and leave the door open for a more open adoption if it is possible. A semi-open adoption is one in which you meet the birth family and are given an opportunity to develop a close bond and relationship with each other and attend the birth of your child. This type of relationship may include your extended family as well as the birth family's extended family. The difference in this type of adoption and a fully open adoption is no identifying information is exchanged by the parties. I hope and pray that you will wind up with an open adoption in which you and the birth family have exchanged identifying information and are contacting each other directly and maybe even meeting periodically so your child and any siblings can learn about each other. But you don't know if that is possible in the beginning of the relationship. The openness of your adoption can be increased as time goes on.
In our agency, a full 25% of our adoptive families and birth families have opened their adoption to include the exchange of last names and identifying information by the actual birth of the child. In most of those cases, the birth mother puts the name the adoptive family has chosen for the child as well as their last name on the baby's birth certificate. In many cases, the adoptive family and their extended family members as well as the birth family and their extended family members are present at the birth and spend hours or days together making memories for the sake of the child they all love.
Even if they don't have a fully open adoption from birth, another 20% of our adoptive families are able to grow their relationship with the birth family into a fully open relationship within the first two or three years. So our anecdotal experience is that roughly ½ of our placements are fully open eventually. This is not perfect, but we feel that it respects the needs and wishes of all parties involved.
If a mother matches with a family and is unable to make that attachment and bond with them for some reason, she may ask for a rematch. Also, we have families who for one reason or another have agreed to a match under circumstances in which they find impossible to continue and have asked for a rematch. Our agency believes that you and the birth mother are the only people who have a right to make decisions about what type of an adoption you want. Occasionally, a mismatch will happen. That is fine. We will be glad to rematch both parties, because this adoption is about them and the baby, not our agency or our time line constraints or our cash flow or our ego. It's about you as the parents, both biological and adoptive, and most importantly the child.
The scenario I have described is a wonderful process to watch from the outside as well as to live from the inside. The only way to achieve this type of adoption is to take time with the decision making process. Don't be rushed into a decision and don't be afraid to voice concerns about the situation. My experience tells me that if you are having concerns about the birth mother and the openness of the adoption, then she is too. When both parties are participating in the type of adoption and placement that they need and want, then very little else can go wrong.
About the Author
Maxine Seiler is the Executive Director and Founder of the
Family to Family adoption agency
whose goal is to broaden access to adoption to more families. Learn more about the
open adoption option
by browsing her web site.
Convertible Banjo
![]() |
![]() Purple Turtleneck Sleeveless Open Back Blouse Top XL $18.99 Time Remaining: 59m |
![]() Open back Tee Top T shirts Size XSSMLXL for Sexy party club beach cotton $6.65 Time Remaining: 16d 20h 24m Buy It Now for only: $6.65 Buy It Now |
![]() Print Halter Open Back Halter Deep V neck Satin Evening Gown 09625 AU Size 16 $19.53 Time Remaining: 1h 15m |
![]() 298 New BCBG Bead Open Back Sexy Black Silk Vest Top M $69.00 Time Remaining: 1h 20m Buy It Now for only: $88.00 Buy It Now | Bid now |
![]() Jockstrap Sexy mesh mens open back Briefs Thongs M XL $5.03 Time Remaining: 26d 25m Buy It Now for only: $5.03 Buy It Now |
![]() New Open Womens Black Knit Tank Top Halter Print Rhinestones M L Size Cut Back $0.99 Time Remaining: 1h 23m |
![]() New Open Womens Black Knit Tank Top Halter Print Rhinestones M L Size Cut Back $15.99 Time Remaining: 1h 26m |
![]() Jockstrap Sexy mesh mens open back Briefs Thongs M XL $4.78 Time Remaining: 17d 19h 58m Buy It Now for only: $4.78 Buy It Now |
![]() DESIGNER LABEL BLACK COCKTAIL DRESS LOW CUT OPEN BACK CONTRAST SHOULDERS S M $17.59 Time Remaining: 2h 25m Buy It Now for only: $48.86 Buy It Now | Bid now |
![]() Womens Bench Open Back Print Tee Black Purple M UK 12 US 8 EU 40 BNWT $20.31 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 3h 57m |
![]() NEW Fashion Cocktail Party Backless Beach Long Maxi Sun Dress Open Back 2 COLORS $14.99 Time Remaining: 11d 19h 19m Buy It Now for only: $14.99 Buy It Now |
![]() Purple Turtleneck Sleeveless Open Back Blouse Top L $18.99 Time Remaining: 4h 8m |
![]() sexy women BlackYellow Lace Cozy lingeries Thong underwear panties Back open $0.99 Time Remaining: 5h 16m |
![]() new womens Sexy Cocktail party evening club wear open back midi Dress S M L XL $19.99 Time Remaining: 2d 9h 3m Buy It Now for only: $19.99 Buy It Now |
![]() Banjo Part Weymann Megaphonic Style Open Back Pot African Shedua Ironwood $345.00 Time Remaining: 5h 58m |
![]() Womens SZ 12 Summer Red Black MiDi Dress Open Back Button Front Lovely $3.99 Time Remaining: 6h 11m |
![]() new womens sexy cocktail party evening club wear open back Long Dress S M L XL $23.99 Time Remaining: 29d 13h 53m Buy It Now for only: $23.99 Buy It Now |
![]() Super Sexy Black Halter Tank Top Anne Klein Zip Front Open Back Red Liner Goth $0.99 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 6h 19m |
![]() NWT bebe size s lilac rouched corset bustier open caged back hook and eye closur $19.99 Time Remaining: 6h 21m |
![]() Sexy Black Sequin Open Back Crossing Strap Handkerchief Shirt Club Top Blouse $9.59 Time Remaining: 8d 22h 39m Buy It Now for only: $9.59 Buy It Now |
![]() Banjo Part Weymann Megaphonic Style Open Back Pot Curly Maple Ironwood $345.00 Time Remaining: 6h 49m |
![]() Velvet Brand Tank Top open in back perfect for summer $17.49 (4 Bids) Time Remaining: 7h 1m |
![]() Sexy Little Open String Back Tank Style Black Club Party Mini Dress US Seller $16.99 Time Remaining: 29d 5h 45m Buy It Now for only: $16.99 Buy It Now |
![]() AIDAN MATTOX BLACK BEAD NECK DETAIL OPEN SQUARE BACK STYLE SEXY EVENING DRESS 6 $79.99 Time Remaining: 7h 8m |
![]() New Sexy Swimwear Black Open Back Swimsuit YS365B $4.67 (6 Bids) Time Remaining: 7h 20m |
![]() Sexy Gothic Club Little Black Dress w Open Weave Back and Front Spaghetti Strap $13.25 Time Remaining: 6d 15h 55m Buy It Now for only: $13.25 Buy It Now |
![]() SEXY CLUB DANCER LEOPARD ZEBRA OPEN BACK MINI DRESS TURQUOISE ONE SIZE $6.38 (7 Bids) Time Remaining: 7h 27m |
![]() Hot sale Women Summer Open Back Halter Padded Monokini Bathing Suit Swimsuit UV5 $9.99 Time Remaining: 7h 36m |
![]() Casual Turtleneck Sleeveless Open Back Blouse Top $19.99 Time Remaining: 2h 14m Buy It Now for only: $19.99 Buy It Now |
![]() CuTe SuPeR SeXy 4 SUMMER Coral Open Back Summer Top Junior Sz M EUC $5.00 Time Remaining: 7h 38m |
![]() T92 Sexy Lingerie Black Open Back Swimsuit $0.10 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 7h 44m |
![]() Unique Convertible V Neck One Shoulder Open Back Ruched Evening Dress $32.99 Time Remaining: 26d 4h 39m Buy It Now for only: $32.99 Buy It Now |
![]() Sexy Japanese open back high school uniform cosplay lingerie costume JR1522 $0.99 Time Remaining: 8h 22m |
![]() Black Women Sleeveless Sexy Open Back Asymmetric Hem High Waist Dress Skirt Ixi $14.50 (3 Bids) Time Remaining: 8h 30m |
![]() Pick Your Sexy Wet Look Little Black Dress Lace Up Cut Out Stretchy Club Mini $22.99 Time Remaining: 14h 56m Buy It Now for only: $22.99 Buy It Now |
![]() Black Bowknot Open Womens Underwear Thong T back G string Sexy Panties GS0066A $0.99 Time Remaining: 8h 30m |
![]() Hot Jockstrap Mens Sexy Erotic Underwear Back open Briefs G string WHITE SIZE L $0.99 Time Remaining: 8h 33m |
![]() Neon Pink Wht Bold Color Block Mod 60s Cage Open Back Bodycon Scuba fp Dress S $36.95 Time Remaining: 29d 10h 17m Buy It Now for only: $36.95 Buy It Now |
![]() Back open Mens Sexy Underwear Erotic Briefs G string Bulge Pouch Grey size L $0.99 Time Remaining: 8h 34m |
![]() Pink Open Crotch Womens Underwear Thong T back G string Sexy Panties GS0032D $0.99 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 9h 14m |
![]() Spaghetti Strap Bow Ruffle Open Back Summer Dress 03017 $69.99 Time Remaining: 17d 2h 32m Buy It Now for only: $69.99 Buy It Now |
![]() TOPSHOP CREAM AND BLACK PRINT OPEN BACK TOP SIZE 8 $3.11 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 9h 18m |
![]() Free People Retro Floral Top with Tie Waist and Open Back Size Medium $6.99 Time Remaining: 9h 19m Buy It Now for only: $21.99 Buy It Now | Bid now |
![]() NEW398 BCBG Max Azria CAIN SEQUIN APPLIQUE Open back EVENING GOWN Dress Black 8 $199.00 Time Remaining: 27d 11h 33m Buy It Now for only: $199.00 Buy It Now |
![]() Urban Behavior Open Back Top S Small $5.00 Time Remaining: 9h 21m Buy It Now for only: $12.00 Buy It Now | Bid now |
![]() PAPAYA Open Back Polka Dot Top Size Large NWT $3.25 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 9h 22m |
![]() TWIST FRONT OPEN BACK CLUB WEAR PARTY DRESS BEIGE XS S $14.04 Time Remaining: 10d 21h 30m Buy It Now for only: $14.04 Buy It Now |
![]() Black Open Crotch Womens Underwear Thong T back G string Sexy Panties GS0032B $0.99 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 9h 25m |
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
















































